‘Two Fried Eggs & A Big Fat Bum’ – (In A Broad Liverpudlian Accent)……

Much of this morning was spent in various parts of the compound tracking down people who have not yet taken their turn in the ‘Great Weight Loss Sweepstake’ – or in other words putting the thumb screws on innocent folks to prize more money out of them for the fundraising campaign, but in return there is the chance that they will win an iPad or a Samsung Tablet…….

Anyway, that was largely my morning and very fruitful it was as well with many new guesses and cash.

Towards the end of my mission I came across one of the compounds real characters who has the most incredible sense of humour and yes, a lovely, broad liverpudlian accent.


Needless to say that over the course of the conversation the subject of change in boob sizes while losing weight and our Liverpudlian friend commented that she virtually has no boobs and they never change regardless of her weight.

The conversation went on in rather a riotous fashion, when out of the blue, in her broad liverpudlian accent, the words ‘two fried eggs and a big fat bum, that’s me’ came out. Well, to a certain extent I suppose you had to be there – but it was one of those classic lines that will stay with me for a very long time.


Anyway, ‘The Great Weight Loss Sweepstake’ is going well. I have to say that I have seen some devious sides of certain people who have gone to what could be seen as extreme lengths to needle the information out of me as to how much weight I have lost in all this crazy training. Everything from catching me on the backfoot with the direct question of how much I have lost when I least expect it, through to going through all the entries on the sheets and finally through to asking himself or the gruesome twosome, (who I hasten to add have no idea).

Seriously the only person who knows exactly is me. Our fab South African GP did know a few weeks ago but I suspect she has now forgotten, (nothing detrimental to her but despite her brilliance she simply cannot remember everybody’s details), as well as being bound by The Hippocratic Oath. In anywise I have lost quite a bit more since telling her so that info is out of date.

So, good people of Salwa – do not contemplate the thumb screws on our female GP, she cannot and will not tell.


So, the sweepstake is still running and will do until the Saturday after The London Marathon. It is open to absolutely everybody, you don’t have to be in Saudi – there are ways and means of submitting your entry if you are not here. Just shout and I will give you more details. Don’t forget there is an iPad or Samsung Tablet as the prize.

OK, so what else has been going on? Well, apart from nightmares about The London Marathon not a lot. Yeap, you read that right, last night I had a nightmare about the marathon. You are probably thinking it was something about a horrendous injury or being mown down by a man in an ostrich suit as he sprinted round the course in 3 hours, (you know who you are – that person who put that on my FB page last week and sewed the seeds of that image in my head), but no. Last night’s nightmare was that my Tommy’s running vest was the wrong colour, (highly unlikely as they are actually supplied by Tommy’s), and as a result Tommy’s would not let me run in their name and so I was not able to do the marathon. This may not seem particularly nightmarish but with my current state of mind believe me it is a big thing and really rather traumatic.


So, having checked my vest this morning I was reassured that it was actually the right colour and started to try to put the bad dream to one side.

So, this tapering business – well it is frustrating – very frustrating. I swam yesterday and pushed myself and I had an hour in the gym today. I do not think I will be running here on the compound again before I head off on Thursday – it is windy and dusty. My sinuses are in a mess just being inside. Swimming and gym it is.

Rest day tomorrow and then Wednesday…

Yeap, Wednesday – I have ‘THE’ appointment. Yeap, the appointment with the dude doctor and his fab Indian sidekick. For those of you who do not know about my adventures at the hospital with regard to my foot, I would suggest you take a look at the following links. Hospitals here in Saudi are a unique experience. Be warned, I would strongly recommend that you are seated when reading the pages, (especially the Darth Vader missive), as there is much hilarity. I would also recommend anybody with a weak bladder to pay a visit to the small room in preparation – I will not be responsible for any dry-cleaning costs – (Darth Vader On A Surfboard & It Didn’t Hurt Until…….)


Anyway, I have my next appointment with the dude Dr and his brilliant Indian sidekick on Wednesday – yeap, they are going to pump my foot full of numbing juice again in preparation for the big event. I haven’t really mentioned my foot of late – mainly because I have been ignoring it. There has been a battle of wills between me and my third left metatarsal head. I am not sure who has come off best. I have also been taping it with zinc oxide tape when training which has actually helped, but I think in light of the pending 26.2 mile run in 12 days, 18 hours, 35 minutes and 55 seconds, (right now – not that I am counting), another instalment of numbing juice would be a good idea.

So, it will be off to the hospital for me first thing on Wednesday morning…..

In other news – well the Strawberry Blond Hand Grenade is back at school. Faultlessly delivered to the UK with typical German efficiency – did you hear that BA? You could learn a thing or two there.


The small man was enthralled by a visit from a UK author yesterday, (yes we actually had a visitor, out here in Saudi – somebody came out to see us and more to the point the school managed to get a visa for him!). The author is a guy by the name of Chris Bradford who has written lots of fiction books for kids involving Ninjas, martial arts and various other things with swords and daggers that I don’t understand. Anyway, he is an expert in iaido, (which Google has reliably informed me is samurai swordmanship), karate, ninjutsu and has a black belt in Zen Kyu Shin Taijutsu – don’t ask me what that is because I have absolutely no idea. Just as an aside he is also highly trained in judo, muay thai and kickboxing. So in short he is not the sort of guy you want to get on the wrong side of, but he did seem like a thoroughly nice chap.

So anyway, yesterday this guy turns up in his full black ninja kit, armed with swords, (I am not sure how he got those into there country but lets not ask about that), and before talking about his books, signing them and posing for photos he gave a demonstration of his many and varied moves that quite frankly made Stephen Seagal look pretty lame at the best of times.


Anyway, this all seems to have had a profound effect on the small man who now has a new role model. He has cast to one side his ‘Captain Underpants’ books, (brilliant series, highly recommended and fantastic reading for small boys, all about farts, underpants, mischief, pranksters and super heroes, good fun for mums too!!), and has started his own form of Ninja training. Oh dear, best move anything valuable as he starts to practice with the broom handle. Good job his sister is back at school or I suspect she would be target number 1.


Right, best go and find some food for the small man before he starves to death, (not!).


Don’t forget to donate, this is all about raising money for Tommy’s

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