Mustard, Pussies, Justin Beaver & Muffy Marmot…..

OK, so today is a rest day and following on from a couple of posts this week I thought today may be an apt time to clarify a few points that have arisen as a result.

Yeap, those poor people who not only read the blog but are also ‘friends’ on my personal Facebook page may be slightly bemused, alarmed, concerned, offended or just darn right amused by a resulting thread from the post Beaver Misdemeanour, Puppetry & General Randomness

Yeap, in order to avoid any collateral damage and to clarify here is a full explanation.

I apologise in advance for any offence caused. Once again if you are of a sensitive disposition you may be better to avoid today’s blog.

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Justin Beaver

Yes, we have a member of our extended family called Justin Beaver. He stands about 20cm high and is largely made of brown fabric and filler.

He only has one eye following on from an unfortunate incident where the small man wanted to see if Justin could fly but a wall got in the way.

So he is now known as ‘Justin The One Eyed Beaver’.

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The above photo is from when I attempted to restore Justin to two eyes, (in fact three if you include the one that was still there), but the small man rejected this and removed the replacements pretty sharpish.

Justin came to live with us when we rescued him from the gift shop at Yellowstone National Park on one of our RV holidays.

One favoured game on that holiday was ‘Throw The Beaver’ where Justin would be thrown to random people in the RV at the same time as a random adjective was shouted, for example as he flew through the air he would be accompanied by words such as ‘flying beaver’, ‘stinky beaver’, ‘clean beaver’. You get the idea.

I am relieved to say that to this day the innuendo attached to this game has passed both children by, although I am expecting a lightbulb moment with the strawberry blond hand grenade in the near future.

The small man does still occasionally try to initiate this game, but due to the raucous laughter and overtones of the game ‘Throw The Beaver’ we do go out of our way to avoid it.

That said apparently during the small man’s recent stay with Grandma and Grandad, Grandad did indulge in the game – I am just not sure if he realised what he was playing or not and no, I am not about to ask.

Justin is very mischievous and crops up where and when you least expect him, usually accompanied by the small man but often by me as well.

Recent adventures have included hiding in the flowers, resulting in the game ‘Hunt The Beaver’, hiding in the slow cooker, ‘Cook The Beaver’ and strategically placing him in a cupboard so when the small man goes to get a glass he is jumped on by Justin – ‘Shocked By The Beaver’. Lots of other mischief is wreaked involving Justin but I will leave them up to your imagination.

With hindsight I am slightly surprised that when the small man suspended the drink can from the ceiling for target practice with his Nerf guns, (click here for an explanation), he did not hang Justin there as a target as well. Best I don’t suggest that to him….

Just to confirm, there was the incident earlier this week when Justin was drenched with ketchup and yes, the phrase which has caused considerable psychological damage to my good friend Mrs M, {the small man was} ‘staring forlornly at a ketchup soaked beaver’

The results of the beaver misdemeanour.....

The results of the beaver misdemeanour…..

To find out more about the ‘Ketchup Beaver’ incident click here.

So, that just about sums up Justin. The small man’s mischievous, incredibly naughty and sometimes incredibly rude best friend. If I had to sum up Justin, I would do a direct comparison between him and the main character in the film ‘Paul’ – they could be related.

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Muffy The Marmot

Justin has a side-kick – Muffy The Marmot. Muffy is roughly the same size as Justin and in theory they are good friends although their friendship does seem to have suffered of late with Justin’s rather riotous behaviour.

Muffy is the quiet, delicate one of the pair who is well-behaved and does not get into any mischief.

She was rescued from a toy shop in Wengen and has been with us ever since.

Muffy is the cuddle monster and is never thrown, dropped, propelled or manhandled.

She often despairs of Justin and his poor behaviour.

Justin and Muffy in a rare moment of cordiality

Justin and Muffy in a rare moment of cordiality

Mustard Covered Pussy

Sigh, I can’t believe I am writing this but I must in order to clarify last night’s Facebook thread with Mrs M.

We do not own a cat, kitten or any feline creature. We never have done and never will do.

There is therefore no mustard covered creature anywhere in our home or lives, there never has been and never will be.

That would be cruel and inhumane.

We may not be cat people but we would certainly never ever hurt one or put one in a position of discomfort, embarrassment or acute humiliation.

That is the end of that sub-section of the post – no more clarification is required or will be entered into relating to mustard and cats of any description.


 

Right, today is the day of the compound’s 90th Birthday Party for The Queen.

Activities include a Great British Bake Off, Scones and I think a bit of welly throwing.

Needless to say The Resident’s Committee will, I am sure, put on a splendid show.

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For my part I will be going with the express intention of avoiding Mrs DC who will I am sure try once again to enlist me onto the Residents Committee. Believe me Mrs DC, the residents committee is much better off without me. Click here to find out what I am wittering on about.

So best avoidance tactics today – although after posting today’s blog I may be better off just going into hiding or better still having extreme plastic surgery and changing my identity……

Maybe I should just go swimming instead……

So, Mrs M – did you ever find that hamster????

Don’t forget to donate, this is all about raising money for Tommy’s

Donate at

http://virginmoneygiving.com/TheCarbys

Tommo & Himself

 

 

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