We are here, we have arrived and despite being really rather jaded we are in one piece.
Yeap, one diversion on our route to Norfolk via the solicitor’s in Swindon, as you do, and we have arrived.
I am midway down my first glass of vino and all is well with the world.
Now, despite my previous reservations about Pokemon, I have to admit that it is OK. The positives that I had heard about regarding the fact that Pokemon Go gets kids up and out is true and as I write the gruesome twosome are out and about in a small Norfolk village looking for Weedles, Rattatas, Dragonairs, Magikarps, Pidgeottos, Seels and Picichuas. I have today learnt about levelling up, Poke eggs, Poke Stops and Poke Balls, (!) among other things – it has been quite an enlightening sort of day today.
I have also find myself offering some sort of Pokemon taxi service. As an add-on to the detour to the solicitors in Swindon I took the opportunity of doing a few errands in town as having been posted not far away several times, Swindon was a regular haunt – but I don’t admit to that in polite company – and I know the town reasonably well.
So, after doing the errands suddenly I found myself at the behest of the gruesome twosome who asked me to ‘just go up there’ or ‘just turn left here’ as apparently there was some sort of Pokemon Go goldmine located close by.
I have to admit that there was a certain level of fun associated with this and while being completely confused with what I was doing I was actually quite entertained by the experience.
Anyway, once I realised that actually if I submitted to every request for a detour to collect a Pidgeottos or something similar then quite frankly we would make it up to Norfolk in time for Christmas and in all honesty my desire for a decent glass of vino out ranked any desire to track down the world’s rarest Pokemon.
Yes, thanks to the fact that I knew I was driving once I hit the green, green grass of home and also that I fell asleep as soon as my butt hit the cramped seat of the BA big bird, not a drop of anything alcoholic passed my lips on the flight back to Blighty. In fact, absolutely nothing passed my lips on the flight back to Blighty.
Thanks to the mortgage chaos and being behind the line in my departure to the UK prep, I passed completely on anything to eat yesterday evening and had decided that a trip to Duty Free to buy a bag of cashew nuts would suffice.
Little did I know that Duty Free in Terminal 1 is closed for refurbishment. Now, I ought to explain that the refurb of Terminal 1 has been ongoing for around 2-3 years and instead of just one massive refurb they just close various portions for a few weeks and then move onto the next bit. It really is a bit like painting the Forth Road Bridge.
Never mind I thought to myself as my stomach rumbled loudly, I will get something to eat on board. Wrong! BA have changed their food policy and instead of the usual anaemic looking Gluten Free sandwich shortly after take off, (which quite frankly I would have devoured), they have replaced it with cupcakes. However, when I declined the cupcake and asked for the Gluten Free alternative I was met with blank faces as there was no alternative.
The crew did suggest I fill in a feedback form but past experience shows that actually feedback forms with BA are just used as either toilet paper or at best coffee mats.
They did search around and actually through their own initiative come up with an alternative – a Saudi pot of low-fat natural yogurt. That really did not quite fit the bill and quite frankly despite being ravenous I would had to have been completely emaciated to have consumed that.
So, I had to hang on till 90 mins before Heathrow when the usual Gluten Free option of an anaemic looking omelette accompanied by three soggy potato wedges and one strand of water ladden asparagus was dished up before me.
Quite frankly I had a choice, either I eat that or I eat one of the gruesome twosome. As eating an anaemic omelette was easier to explain to himself than eating one of his offspring I opted for the former rather than the latter.
Needless to say a Costa trip was a high priority on leaving the airport.
Right, the vino is taking effect and that combined with a less than full night sleep in the company of BA common sense dictates that tonight’s blog will be brief.
If you are wondering, (and not completely bored to tears), by the mortgage fiasco the you will be pleased to hear that by the skin of our teeth at this point in time we are on course to exchange tomorrow and complete on Tuesday.
The beleaguered mortgage advisor and solicitor are reaching for the wine bottles as I write, the mortgage companies are inking their quills and the good Doc has gone to ground for fear of her professional reputation.
We are naively optimistic that we may exchange tomorrow….
Watch this space….
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