The Penny May Have Finally Dropped…….

A stark realisation hit me today. I don’t know how much validity is in this theory, but anyway there is enough to set alarm bells ringing whether it is true or not.

Shocked bird

When I ventured to the girls boarding house at school to liberate the premises from the strawberry blond hand grenade, the legend that is Matron was not her usual jolly self – normally I would have expected an air of delight with the prospect of two weeks off. But no, pursed lips, a frown and few words made her even more formidable than usual.

carrymatron

I didn’t really hang around for long enough to check on her wellbeing and we disappeared off pretty promptly.

Today I was listening to the strawberry blond one singing happily to herself and immediately recognised the song she was singing.

That threw me back to last week, to the day I arrived at school to see the gruesome twosome fresh from the BA big bird.

I took them out for tea that night and on the way back to school we enjoyed some loud music and singing.

drivingmusic

There were two main songs of choice, both of which the strawberry blond one knows off by heart and one in particular that I clearly remember her singing as she walked back into the boarding house.

The songs in question were ‘Weed Instead Of Roses’ by Ashley Monroe and ‘The Lazy Song’ by Bruno Mars.

Now the Bruno Mars ditty is OK but would still, I am sure, draw a frown from Matron. However, the Ashley Monroe number is somewhat risqué and politically incorrect.

politicallyincorrect

You have been warned!

It is not a widely known song, so for those that are unfamiliar with this song the lyrics are as follows:

“Weed Instead Of Roses”

Baby we’ve been together for a long, long time
You get home from work and then we just turn out the lights
Lately I’ve been dreaming you in leather, me in lace
Let’s put up the teddy bears, and get out the whips and chains

Give me weed instead of roses
Bring me whiskey instead of wine
Every puff, every shot, you’re looking better all the time
I don’t need a card from Hallmark
Box of candy, heaven knows
Give me weed instead of roses
Let’s see where it goes

Honey you don’t have to worry,
There ain’t no one else for me
Lately we have fallen under the same routine
I ain’t getting any younger, oh but you don’t seem to care
Let’s trade in the boxers for some sexy underwear

Give me weed instead of roses
Give me whiskey instead of wine
Every puff, every shot, you’re looking better all the time
I don’t need a card from Hallmark
Box of candy, heaven knows
Give me weed instead of roses
Let’s see where it goes

Let’s send the kids to grandma,
And call in sick to work
Put on some heavy metal,
Rip the phone off of the hook
Go call your no good brother,
We both know what he’s been growing
I’ll be waiting with the whipped cream
And baby let’s get going

Give me weed instead of roses
Give me whiskey instead of wine
Every puff, every shot, you’re looking better all the time
I don’t need a card from Hallmark
Box of candy, heaven knows
Give me weed instead of roses
Let’s see where it goes

You pull out the Polaroid
And I’ll strike a couple poses
Oh let’s get a little wild
Bring me weed instead of roses

The song is widely available on numerous music websites should you feel the urge to hear it in action.

weedroses

Now it is at this point that I ought to say that while the strawberry blond one is very familiar with the ways of the world, much of the content of this song goes over head, (I hope), and she just happily sings along.

So, today I suddenly had the horrendous feeling that actually the strawberry blond one had gone back into the boarding house, happily singing about ‘Weed Instead of Roses’ in full hearing range of Matron……..

shockedbaby

Oh well, if that is the case there is another week and a half before I darken the doorstep of school again and have to face the wrath of Matron…….

Right, my first disastrous gym session in a long time today. So an early night calls…..

Laters!

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Tommys1

 

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