A Moth Eaten Old Sloth On The Ball???

Boo! Surprise! It’s me! Apologies if you were enjoying the peace and quiet but those people who know me well will know that I do like to do things out of the ordinary.

This is not for any sinister, patronising reason to do with keeping people on the ball.

No, far from it. The dedicated and long-term EIOT readers, (hi Mum! – no, not even my Mum reads this, apparently I ‘go on too much!’), are very on the ball and require no such behaviour. Heaven knows that anybody who has stuck with this drivel for the last goodness knows how long must be completely on the ball and use this as a pressure valve from the hectic pressures of modern life.

No, the reason behind my propensity for unexpected actions is purely selfish – to try to keep me on the ball. Not an easy task by any stretch of the imagine as by definition to keep me on the ball, suggests I should be on the ball in the first place.

Instead much of my life seems to be spent trying to climb up the aforementioned ball to achieve this status in the first place.

I consider myself to be a bit of a moth-eaten old sloth, struggling to climb up onto an oversize exercise ball in super slow fashion ball but some warped individual has maliciously coated the oversize sphere with olive oil – just to keep me in my place.

Quick, somebody call the RSPCA or Sloth Protection Society now!

Anyway, moving away from my ramblings about my deep and complex insecurities, back to my extra-ordinary and unscheduled post.

I am in smug mode. I am in extreme smug-mode. I am more smug than a smug thing in on Smug Day in smug land.

Yes, on the very day that BT/Openreach were scheduled to do the pole work towards enabling basic communication to and from EIOT Towers, the behemoth that is BT/Openreach have announced that they are forecasting major losses. The Stock Market has had a wobbler, the share-price is going down and quite frankly the financial media are asking who is going to fall on their sword for this debacle.

Now, I would love to say that the reason behind this forecast for the UK’s monopoly holding telecoms giant is the popularity of this blog, the disgust that it has aroused among the public, the lack of revenue from singularly failing to provide contact with the outside world to EIOT Towers, the cost of repeated surveys, pointless applications to other organisations, ‘mole ploughing’ and ‘pole work’ and the extortionate telephone bills that they have suffered returning my calls and spending hours on the phone providing a full and comprehensive service to me – yeah right, that last one would amount to about 7.527p for the entire 5 month debacle thus far.

No, the reason behind this is purely down to poor management, some arm of the business in Italy failing, (if they can’t get their act together in the UK, what the heck are they doing trying to run telecommunications in Italy?), and general greed and an over-riding sense of untouchability and ¬†unaccountability.

Apart from the Italian side of BT’s strife, all the contributing factors listed above on a massive commercial basis also relate to their treatment of us on a consumer level.

Now, yes I am smug, but I should actually be laughing my socks off at the debacle that has headlined the financial press today.

I am not laughing, for two reasons.

  1. We still do not have communications with the outside world at EIOT Towers, (no there has been no news thus far about whether or not the BT/Openreach engineers donned their Lycra and the planned ‘pole work’ today.
  2. We have shares in BT – Bugger.

I hasten to add that we have had these shares for sometime and were bought a longtime before entering into the battlefield with the behemoth.

The shares have systematically failed to do anything since purchase and I have of late been looking at them wondering if I can justify selling them having made diddly squat on our investment – I wish I had now as they are now sliding down a muddy bank into the cesspit of negative value shares with nobody there to throw a rope to hoick them back out to a respectable level.

Now I have to say that in a recent stropogram to Ms W – our Senior Level Executive complaints bod I did quite directly point out that I was unsurprised that the shares had done nothing and that with the way we had been treated could not be unique and as such how could a company expect a healthy share price with such poor customer service.

Not even I knew the truth behind my words.

Anyway, my next conversation with Ms W is going to be interesting, very interesting. That is if she actually answers the phone to me, I suspect she may be even harder to get hold of now……

Right, this is the smug sloth signing off for today to go and try once more to get to the top of that damned olive oil soaked outsized gym ball.

Quick somebody, Google the Sloth Protection Society NOW!



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